My wife literally hates sex. should we see a doctor? we are both 27 and my wife can't stand sex. we have tried everything. more intimacy, me doing more housework, more time focused on her, nothing works. she wants to and even initiates but after a minut

Yes, : Yes, because you've been doing what you can do now and the issue is still affecting your marital life.

Hi, : Hi, this sounds frustrating for both of you. There are many reasons that a person might not want to have sex (even if initially horny). There are some people who are so obsessive about always being productive, that they feel like they are literally wasting time if they don't have something to show for time spent. So they may counting away the minutes while having sex, because they want to get to something that feels more important to them. Some men and women who have a good sex drive may still have an aversion to sexual contact from past traumatic experiences. If your relationship (emotionally intimacy) is not healthy, that could be impacting your wife's ability to make her self vulnerable to you (what makes a person more vulnerable than having part of someone else inside them). Are your foreplay methods effective for her? Some women require very specific types of stimulation to achieve arousal. So... In answer to your question, the answer is that i don't know. If she has been traumatized in the past; she would need to be motivated to work through this issue. If you don't know how to please her - ask her about this. Women often know what works for them and she could probably tell you what feels good and what doesn't do the trick. Also, ask her if sexual intercourse is causing her physical pain. If there is an issue related to emotional intimacy - you would both have to decide that you are willing to work on this in therapy. If you have ever been aggressive or abusive with her in any way, that might be a big hurdle. If she is just really obsessive about her time - that would also be a big hurdle. The next issue is if you have children. Staying aroused if you are worried about a child needing you or a child walking in on the sex act - can quickly kill passion. You may want to consider a couples retreat. Just to examine issues there are important to both of you and to see if there are any things that are an obstacle to sexual or emotional intimacy. When you both are more aware of how the other is feeling and thinking, it could open the door to new solutions. I wish you well.