How much should we urge activity director to involve elderly parent in events at the home?

It Depends: I can see how one could have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, we all want our parents taken cared of and payed attention to. On the other hand, we don't want to wind up in an adversarial relationship with those who we want/need on our side. Also, it matters what else could be done and the time needed. There are different degrees of urging and sometimes unsolicited advice doesn't work.