I am 36 and am on my 3rd round of iui (we did 2 vials this month) but my doctor won't allow me to take clomid or any other medecine until after 6 failed attempts. is that normal? i am gay so it's not like i was trying to get pregnant before this and fail

Hmmmm: You should trust your doctor of course, but multiple IUI with unstimulated cycles (no medicine) is an 'unusual' treatment plan. If you are having trouble communicating with this doctor, a second opinion could be in order.

No: As a patient, you should always be in charge of your care. Certainly there may be times when you have limited options (i.e. Both tubes blocked) but in general no one should ever make requirements like those (except insurances who sometimes have guidelines). So one can debate what is the best type of care, but you should always be given choices.

Counseling is key: While it is not mandatory to do natural cycle x 6 cycles prior to adding Clomid (clomiphene) to one's regimen, there are pros/cons to both treatment options. Clomid (clomiphene) has some side effects, most of which is tolerable, along with an increased risk of multiples (~8% twins, ~1% triplets). However, potential benefit of increasing chance of success/cycle and/or shortening the duration to pregnancy is considered also.