How much rage is "normal" to have to put up with in a guy?

None: "rage" implies uncontrolled -- with forgetting the loveable aspects of the person you're angry with. Inability to contain one's own rage is a serious problem that needs help. It can lead to abuse. Couples can have disagreements -- even arguments -- without breaking into rage. There's a lot people can do before it reaches that point, including taking a break from the discussion to calm down.