I need to go see what mental disorder i have. i'm afraid i'm bipolar and embarrassed to admit to my symptoms?

Mental Disorder: Jenny, no need to be embarrassed. Doctors deal with this stuff everyday. It won't bother us and we don't share with anybody. Why don't you start with your regular doctor, tell him/her what is going on. If need be they can refer you to secondary care providers like therapists and psychiatrists if need be. It sounds like you don't want to feel like you do now, lets get it better, take that step

Why suffer?: It is clear that you are not happy about your symptoms, whatever is causing them. Sometimes mental/behavioral symptoms have a physical cause. Before being diagnosed with most major psychiatric labels, a physical cause needs to be ruled out (except substance abuse). You also take Vicodin which should be stopped before a label is applied. Get a good physical,& then ask your doc for a referral.