If your partner was diagnosed with hpv, my understanding is that it is fairly certain that you also have hpv. do i now remain a carrier for life?

Probably not: HPV DNA often persists in tissues, but the actual frequency isn't known. However, the immune system suppresses active infection within a year or two, and most people never have another problem, even if DNA persists. For practical purposes, the infection is cured. Most people with HPV are not "carriers for life". You'll probably never have a problem and unlikely to infect future partners.