A 17-year-old male asked:
Disclaimer

others find me extremely uptight and intimidating because i can not be myself around others..... how can i fix a mistaken identity?

1 doctor answer
Dr. Ed Friedlander
43 years experience Pathology
Learn new behaviors: This has to happen. The meds may be helping but they're no substitute for learning new ways to talk with and interacts with people. Get with someone who will give you actual coaching in people skills. Understanding your past and your inner distress is important, but there are tricks to becoming likable. The Dale Carnegie books may even be a good start. Your insight tells me your future is bright.
Answered on Jul 27, 2014
3
3 comments
2
2 thanks
Dr. Ed Friedlander
43 years experience Pathology
Provided original answer
If the conversation turns to sex, religion, politics, or mental health, be the voice of tolerance. While you're working, say only nice things. As you feel comfotable, reveal a bit about your past -- not self-pity, but that tou're learning to overcomg, perhaps, having been exposed to excessive criticism and ridicule growing up. Show in your actions that you're a person of good will & kindness.
Jul 27, 2014
Dr. Ed Friedlander
43 years experience Pathology
Provided original answer
Most of us learn to talk with others through trial and error. The process is always more or less painful, and I'm still learning. Remember that relationships are more important than being right. Agree with whatever portion you can. Approach each new person as a riddle -- "What can I truly and genuinely admire about this individual?" -- and when you've figured it out, let them know subtly.
Jul 27, 2014
Dr. Ed Friedlander
43 years experience Pathology
Provided original answer
Most of us learn to talk with others through trial and error. Often this is painful, and I'm still learning. Relationships are more important than being right. Agree with what you can. In meeting any new person, ask, "What can I genuinely admire about this person?", make it your task to figure it out, and let the person know subtly when you have.
Jul 27, 2014

90,000 U.S. doctors in 147 specialties are here to answer your questions or offer you advice, prescriptions, and more. Get help now:

Ask doctors free
Personalized answers
Free
Talk to a doctor
Unlimited visits
$10/month

Related questions:

A 44-year-old member asked:
Dr. C. michael Bowman
45 years experience Pediatrics
Encouragement: Encouragement and creativity are important for teens to recognize themselves. They often get bogged down in trying to be "acceptable" to their friends ... Read More
3
3 thanks
A 46-year-old member asked:
Dr. Pamela Pappas
41 years experience Psychiatry
Not at all: The term "psychopath" usually refers to antisocial personality disorder -- which is a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights ... Read More
A 29-year-old member asked:
Dr. Marsha Davis
27 years experience Internal Medicine
Unhappiness : Not being happy if they are a boy being a boy and if a girl wishing they were a boy instead.
A 48-year-old member asked:
Dr. Colin Kerr
43 years experience Family Medicine
Identity crisis: He defined it. He described the now familiar concepts of "identity crisis" and "life cycle, " provided a framework for considering the individual psyc ... Read More

90,000 U.S. doctors in 147 specialties are here to answer your questions or offer you advice, prescriptions, and more. Get help now:

Ask doctors free
Personalized answers
Free
Talk to a doctor
Unlimited visits
$10/month