What to do if i'm feeling so fat and ugly and disgusting?

This is treatable: Your phrasing of the question suggests to me that you recognize these feelings aren't realistic. I suspect you are depressed and perhaps have body dysmorphic disorder. This can be addressed with a little work, and in turn, you'll probably regain the emotional energy to become physically fit (95% of good looks for either gender) and be productive in society. Be brave and call your physician now.