What to do if i had over that. but i do have high functioning autism, could that be why i feel so different?

Certainly, it is : frustrating, depressing & anxiety-provoking to know you have a problem with social communication & behaviors that seem "odd" to some, but you can't "fix" them without help. It means you're both smart & you have some degree of Theory of Mind, knowing that others may have a different point of view. See http://www.aapsa.net & autismsyracuse.com/linksresources/ to find funding & services. Good luck!