I'm forty-five/female i don't have a voice disorder but i lose my voice to severe fear and anxiety; what do i do when i've tried everything?

Changing patterns: You haven't tried everything. You might want to talk with a professional. Psychologist. Speech therapist. Behavioral medicine. Biofeedback, hypnosis. Stress management, etc.. You need to manage the stress, and your body's response patterns. Break down the pattern, triggers and introduce a disruption to change the pattern. Intervening in advance to lower levels of underlying stress might help.