I masturbate excessively and cannot maintain an erectile with a woman. is this from masturbation or is it psychological? it's so embarrassing

Psychological: I'm not sure what you're calling "excessive, " but i take your self-assessment seriously. It's possible to use any behavior or substance in an addictive way -- and this needs help. You may also be extremely anxious with women in person, but able to stimulate yourself. A psychologist or psychiatrist might be able to assess your situation and recommend the types of treatment that can help you best.

Time for a visit: ED professionals see cases like yours.They suggest that masturbation over time can pattern your brain to respond to the porn/fantasy pattern to the exclusion of a natural response in a normal intimate setting.I would meet with one of their counselors and develop a plan to rework your response. It will take time, but you are not unique, and there is help out there.