Why is it that i hate myself, have horrible mood swings and have suicidal thoughts, but with uncontrollable happiness?

This warrants: A comprehensive psychiatric evaluation. It is important to rule in/ out a mood disorder. Mood disorders are treatable. If you are having thoughts about killing yourself when you get this, get seen at nearest emergency room now. Have a friend or relative drive you or call 911 for emergency services for transport. You can call the national suicide hotlines 24/7 at 1-800-suicide (1-800-784-2433).