Should i be embarrassed of the toys used in kindergarten rape? why would it be awkward? i thought they were just toys? help, 17 y/o girl.

Childhood rape?: If you were raped in kindergarten, I am sorry. No child should be treated this way. I'm not sure what "toys" you're describing, but if you mean sex toys used on you, this would be awkward and frightening. Have you been in psychotherapy after these experiences? Were you able to have help or support from anyone in your family about it? If not, i hope you'll work with a good psychologist soon.

Memory triggers: It is normal for people to have trigger factors that bring them back to such emotionally charged events.It could be a smell, a melody or song or toys that were visible.Those triggers can take you to the pain, or embarrassment or other memories as if it just happened. It is not "nuts", it can happen with good memories too.Do your work through therapy and life will get better.