I think i'm suicidal and feel very lost help?

If you feel suicidal: Even a bit, you should reach out and get help from a therapist. You do not have to wait until you feel worse, speaking with someone will help you uncover why you feel so bad and help you find ways to overcome whatever challenges are bringing you down. You may need medication or psychotherapy may be enough. Get some help and let us know how it goes, your experience may help someone else.