My wife's toes constantly feel like they're frozen and thawing. the only thing that helps temporarily is foot massage. she won't go to a doctor.

Toes: Well, she needs to see a doctor. This could easily be poor circulation as you said it only helps temporarily. Start with your podiatrist who can get you to a vascular doc if needed.

She should go to: One otherwise her feet will continue to feel that way. It would be important to determine if they are actually cold or she perceives them as cold, as this will help differentiate between a vascular vs neurological situation. Is this year round or only in the winter? What are her other medical problems? This sounds like something that can be helped btw, so she should not be so stubborn.