Swollen labia during plus after sex. am i too dry?

Maybe: Try a water based lubricant to supplement "mother nature" such as k-y or astroglide. If the swelling continues see an gyn for evaluation for a possible Bartholin's gland infection or cyst.

Swollen labia: Certainly this could be one cause. Other than other methods to ensure lubrication with otc products, increasing the amount of foreplay may help. Other than this, consider physiologic reasons such as insufficient estrogen stimulation of vaginal mucosa as well as the possibility of allergic reaction, excessive friction, infection or stds, etc.