How do i get my boyfriend to realize he's emotionally abusing me?

Talk: Be open and honest with your boyfriend about your feelings, your thoughts, your fears and your expectations from the relationship. Focus on those things. You might feel scared, under-valued, smothered. Ask him if everything is ok. You can say "i feel x when you do y, " or you can say "i would feel more comfortable if you tried x." honesty and communication is critical.

Get guidance: I'm going to assume that you can and will terminate the relationship if this continues. Your best answer is couples counseling to learn new ways of interacting that will get results you both want. He needs to figure out that he cannot and need not depend on you for his happiness. You may learn something helpful about yourself. Your doctor can arrange it; the results are often amazing.

Communication : Simple, direct communication is the best way. If that doesn't work perhaps the real question here as far as counseling goes, is why do you continue to stay with him? It's a tough thing to look at, I realize, but perhaps it is you need to counseling, and not him.