I feel so guilty that i had a c-section and did not get the birth experience that i was planning on?

No need: Birth is one of those life events that we simply cannot fully control, despite our best efforts. I have seen many women over the years who tried to plan all aspects of their birth experience and created expectations that were nearly impossible to meet. Sometimes you simply need to give yourself over to the experience as it unfolds. It is still wonderful and miraculous.