If you attract herpes do the person you get it from has to have an outbreak and how long does it take for it to appear on you ?

Actually no, you can: get herpes from someone who carries the virus but doesn't have to have a lesion at the time, this is called asymptotic shedding. The virus is very common and individuals on oral medication that is preventative reducing the shedding rate to one day a year. Hope that helps

4 days: Incubation period (time from getting infected to appearance of symptoms) is about 4 days. Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected. After infection, a woman may not develop symptoms and never know that she has been infected.