I have true iron deficiency anemia- other than pills that make me more constipated than i already am what are other forms of iron i could try?

Constipation: Iron pills are very known to cause obstipation. You can try increasing fibers in your diet by eating more fruits/veggies and also taking stool softeners.

Auto-immune complex: As you already know, lupus can be complex. Are you sure you have iron-deficiency and not anemia of chronic disease? Excess iron can also cause some problems more than constipation so we want to be sure. Raisins, red meat, spinach come to mind. Hang in there and keep bringing these issues back to your rheumatologist and primary md.