My partner won't kiss me & has had tiny dots on the inside of his bottom lip, would this be an std or just fordyce?

Sebaceous glands: These are probably Fordyce granules just as you said -- many, maybe most, guys have them if you look closely. No two people are fully compatible when it comes to physical love. I'm glad you've got a relationship and if you make clear that you care deeply about him and are totally about making him happy, maybe this will resolve itself with your having to argue or criticize.