I can't stop twirling / twisting my hair. my wife does not like this and is very annoyed. i feel like i can't control it tho. what can this be?

This is a habit: This is a habit rather than a compulsion per se. I don't think that it will respond to any type of ocd medication. It is not quite trichotillomania which is where you yank the hair out . You could meet with a psychologist to work on ways to diminish the behavior. This should be a cognitive behavioral therapist. Best wishes.

Hair twisting: Hair twisting and pulling are body focused repetitive disorders. http://tinyurl.com/nyghsla they may be associated with anxiety, boredom, and sometimes ocd -- but are treatable with behavioral therapies such as habit reversal and stimulus control. You'll need a therapist trained in these approaches -- many are listed at http://www.Trich.Org/ good luck!