I need a way out of just drinking. How do you deal with stress and depression in tough times if no wine?

Drink or treat. As you seem to have realized, using alcohol to cope with depression and stress only provide temporary relief. Not only does the depression and stress not get better, but it gets worse because now you also have to worry about alcohol dependence. See a psychologist or a psychiatrist to treat your symptoms effectively. Self-medication is often not the best way to feel better.
How to stop drinking. Big questions! some people just quit, some cannot no matter how they want to. You sound to have depression which you may be trying to mask the symptoms by drinking. It only worsen the depression. You need professional help, and quick! you need medications and counseling together, not separately, and aa support...Call your doctor, write him-her a letter about your problem, start with that...
PROBABLE NEEEDS. STRESS REDUCTION /RELAXATION TECHNIQUES. TALK WITH A THERAPIST RE WHY THE STRESS HITS YOU THE WAY IT DOES. YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF YOURSELF AND THE REST OF THE WORLD. PROBABLY ASSISTANCE FROM MEDICATION. yOU'RE AWARE THAT DRINKING DOESN'T FIX THE PROBLEM. GOOD. YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY IF YOU COULD ALONE. THAT'S WHY THE THERAPIST. GOT TO TRUST SOMEONE. TIME TO START IS NOW.