When u r concerned. When you are using despite negative consequences, you have a problem. Dont get caught up in amounts.
When you can't stop. The point of alcohol dependency is seen when there are physical symptoms of withdrawal when drinking is stopped. Alcohol abuse may have periods of hangover symptoms, which are limited. Whether a person is an "alcoholic" is a broader, less clinically defined question. This can be determined by various screening assessments widely available.
Alcoholism. Problem drinking has been defined as more than 2-3 standard drinks per occation for women and 4 for a man. A standard drink =12oz beer, 4 oz wine, 1oz hard liquor. Alcohol dependence ie addiction is higher. A daily drink doesn't make you an alcoholic but episodic binge drinking does if every time you drink there is no control. Addiction involves loss of control, continued use despite neg effect.