I'm two different people on or off ssri medication and am now doubting all decision making as result of on or off medication. What's going on?

SSRI. If your going on and off ssri's you may be causing reactions if you are not titrating over a fixed period of time regulated by your doctor. Consult with an experienced psychiatrist to evaluate which medications if any are necessary. Also consider psychotherapy as meds are seldom enough to overcome depression, it is necessary to learn new ways of coping and lessening the criticism of your self voic.
Neurophilosophy. You bring up an interesting philosophic question that I am certain many psychiatrists have wrangled with for much of their careers. That is, what occurs at the intersection between free will and changes in judgment associated with antidepressant administration? Studies show changes in judgment on antidepressants, and it may be that a depressive logic is part of the prison of major depression.