To take the pain away of the shot for an ingrown toenail is it better to ask for an oral sedative or a topical anesthetic?

Topical can help. Using a topical anesthetic cream such as Emla (lidocaine and prilocaine) can help make the procedure more comfortable. One can put the cream on at home, about an hour before the procedure. Somebody else can do the driving to and from the doctor's office. Discuss such options with the doctor ahead of time.
Topical. Topical will do better to avoid the pain.