If you have lymphoma or a cancerous tumor doesn't it have to grow? If I have swollen lymph nodes that never grow are they ok no matter where?

Usually. Any lymph node larger than 2cm warrants further evaluation. However, the longer the nodes have been prominent but unchanged, the lower the probability of cancer. Other factors of importance include your age, smoking history, symptoms, family history, etc. The node's location are of secondary importance. I advise you seek out a formal consultation from your doctor. A biopsy may be indicated.
See your doctor. You have asked this question in a couple different ways. I would highly suggest you see your doctor to get this figured out. Lymph nodes may or may not increase in size depending on what is going on. It is dangerous to assume that just because a lymph node is not increasing in size, it is benign. Please see your doctor.
Lymphadenopathy. The rate of progress of lymph node enlargement may not necessarily predict the etiology. Assessing whether they are fixed to underlying tissue, stony hard in consistency, tender or not, fluctuant, and other criteria simply provides indices of suspicion. If there is a significant question the answer is biopsy.