First time of many..
That one spouse is irritated with the other is a normal part of any long term relationship.
It hurts, it is scary, and often the woman blames herself. But it's not who is right, or wrong. . Each is their own person, and u and he have to talk about the feelings involved. If violent urges or reactions become part of the 'irritation' then there ins a more serious problem and u may have to seek help.