When I cough to hard I squirt or female ejaculate how do I stop squirting even when im not having an orgasm?

Urinary incontinence. What you are describing sounds like urinary incontinence. This can be caused by a number of things such as a fallen bladder, overactive bladder, underactive bladder or a combination. Your ob/gyn is a good person to see about this. Many ob/gyn's can do testing in the office to diagnose the cause and can offer the appropriate treatment.
Stress incontinence. Occurs with coughing, sneezing, jumping and anything that causes rpid increase in intra-abdominal pressure. You can try kegel exercises, also squeezing a ball between your knees repeatedly a number of times a day. You could also cosult with a urologist or uro-gynecologist. Good luck.
Stress incontinence. What you are describing is stress incontinence. It may be due to overactivity of the muscle in the wall of your bladder. Urinary tract infections may be a contributing factor. Your primary care doctor can evaluate this and prescribe specific treatment for stress incontinence. You may need a referral to a urologist.