I have 0 motivation to improve my life. Heart rate goes up when responsibilty is on me. Rarely go out and stay upset for months, also gets discouraged.?

Depression. Depression/anxiety may present itself this way, it is a good idea to talk to a psychiatrist for further evaluation.
Don't walk, Run to a psychiatrist in your area for an evaluation! you deserve to be happy and healthy!
Take it slow. Your first step is to get an appointment with your family physician who may take combination of approaches. At the very least, you would seem to benefit by speaking with a psychologist to determine just how far back your issues go, as these feelings usually have roots in childhood/adolecence. Medication might help in the interim until you work things out.

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