I have red gums, grinding teeth and gum pain. The tooth itself is throbbing as well and pain is unbearable what can I do before my dr visit?

Pain. Sorry you're in pain. OTC NSAIDs, best is Advil/Ibuprofen/Motrin, taken EXACTLY as per package directions, may help take the edge off. Cold compresses may also help. But don't expect a DIY cure. You will have to see a Dentist ASAP for care.
Bruxism? Have a look at this website from mayo clinic see if it applies to your situation: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bruxism/basics/definition/con-20029395 Recommend you continue with your doctor visit as planned or consult a dentist licensed in your area for advice and diagnosis specific to your situation.

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What to do if I have red gums under just one tooth?

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