I have feve n tender lymphnodes over 1 year, started sym sex with unknown grl, contacted ID doc, hiv neg multiple time, my wife also same sym, help me?

Need more tests. Sounds like infectious but not likely HIV and you need to get back to your inf disease doc and do more tests, would start ruling out STD from bacterial spirochettes, chlamydia, LGV etc. Serology from blood may clinch your disease and may even need tissue from swollen nodes. These modes may also apply to your wife, take care and pls ffup with your MD.