Anxiety that is triggered at random. Cry, panic, feel like I can't breathe, and have terrible thoughts. I've been hospitalized before. Maybe chronic?

What Thoughts? If you you are having any thoughts of hurting yourself due to panic and have a plan you should go to the emergency room now. Since you have been hospitalized before are you in outpatient care? If so please make an appointment with a MH professional ASAP. It does sound like you have a chronic condition and you will feel better after talking to someone.