How can I lose my virginity without pain? I've tried loads of times with my partner and it just stops at a certain point and I can't handle it

Time for a visit. By your statement you have likely tried the common lubricants and things just don't work out.It is time to meet with a Gyn doc and have a genital exam.Some women have a thickened membrane (hymen) that may need a little surgical help for you to go forward. This can usually be done as an outpatient if needed.If that is not the case you are with those who can help you find out.
Physiatrist & lube. Please utilize lubricant such as Astrroglide, if it doesn't cause allergic reaction or increased discomfort. Ensure that you do not have a latex allergy, if using condoms. A consultation with a Physiatrist that specializes in Pelvic pain might reveal myofascial pain as a potential cause of the discomfort you are experiencing. Stanford Medical School, Palo Alto, California, used to have a clinic.
First time sex. For many, the first sexual encounter can be painful. Many reasons for this, possibly nervousness that prevents adequate relaxation. Also, there may not be adequate lubrication in the vagina, increasing the sensation of friction. I recommend more foreplay, use of lubricants, and patience on your and your partners part. If this persists, after the initial encounter, I would seek medical attention.