It feels like I can't hold m bladder but when I try to urinate, I have to keep pushing to go because it seems like like it doesn't want to come out. Why is this and what can I try?

Cystitis? Sounds like you might have a urinary tract infection, possibly a bladder infection. The symptoms you're describing are hesitancy (having to strain to go) and urgency (needing to go now). They suggest that your bladder is irritated. You should see your doc for this.
?UTI, ? after babies. You might have a UTI so basic urine test is necessary. Symptoms may be due to a cystocele and/or incompetent urinary sphincter. Medical conditions such as diabetes or multiple sclerosis aould also be responsible. Strongly suggest you see a urogynecologist or gynecologic urologist. Good luck.
Flow problem. You problem can be cased by a number of conditions.. You should be evaluated by a urologist.. Most conditions can be remedied easily..
Urinary retention. It sounds like you are experiencing urinary retention and should be evaluated for this common condition. Diabetics are prone to weakness of the bladder. It sounds as if you are also experiencing overflow incontinence. Regardless, you should be seen by a urologist.