I have a fiance with bpd and it is extremly hard dealing with her! Any advice or suggestions about how to make it easier on myself?

Re-assess. I would encourage you to see a therapist and work through some of these issues. Relationships are hard to begin with and whether you are cut out for dealing with one so troubled is a question you should not try to answer alone.
Bpd? Not sure if you mean bipolar affective disorder (bpad) or borderline personality disorder. Both can be difficult to deal with as a significant other especially without appropriate treatment (meds an/or therapy). They are often confused with each other. The best thing to do is to make sure she follows up with her psychiatrist and/or therapist.