Told for years to get hearing aids but didn't want ones like my father had in the 1950s. Now miss most conversations unless people shout. What choices?

Many choices. Technology has advanced tremendoulsy since then. This is not your father's hearing aid world. There are advances in miniaiturization, circutry, electronics and such that there are programable aid that fit far up in the ear as to not be seen and can do tremendous things by remote. You will be amazed. See an ENT or a reputable audiologist and don't fret about 2nd r 3rd opinions. Look at many.
New hearing aids. Hearing aids are very important for you. There are two main issues when people lose their hearing 1) trouble hearing and 2) trouble understanding. People with long term hearing loss often have trouble understanding due to changes in the auditory pathway caused by long term hearing loss. You may have trouble at first if your understanding is not good but stick with it as it does get better.
Try something new. Hearing aids have come a long way since your father wore them. They are smaller, some options are practically invisible because they sit far down into the eat canal. Modern hearing aids work better, as they are digitally tuned to hit specific hearing deficits. Older designs filled the ear canal and caused feedback. There are models that take care of that problem as well. Try something new!