Gets a unbearable pain through my ear if someone speaks to me with loud music, jaw swelling, some days in tears. Is this TMJ or an other problem?

Could be. I would suggest you see a dentist who can diagnose tmd. See www.Aaop.Org or www.Aacfp.Org for a specialist in your area. You might also consider seeing a physician who can rule out an ear disorder.
Hyperacusis. Sounds like hyperacusis. See an ENT doc for help.
Either or both. Why are you waiting for treatment? See a physician as soon as possible for the ear symptoms and a dentist for the jaw swelling and to give you a complete and thorough dental examination, including an evaluation as to whether or not there is any relationship. Swelling most often suggests an infection, which if left untreated, can lead to serious complications and can even be life threatening!