I keep missing family functions due to my lupus. I'm run down, dizzy, ill. Parents are getting older. I'm 36. Life is ticking away & I'm missing out?

Rheum management. You need to get in control of your disease, rather than letting it control you. (easily said, i know). You need a good rheumatologist / doctor with experience with lupus, and try meds until symptoms get better control. Even if you are uninsured, you can go through closest medical school's clinic system to get access to expert, and social work can help find ways to fund medicines.