I have white bump on bottom lip for 5 yrs it's now scaly and wont healdoc says its a cold sore. Yer ago mouth swelled &pain in face &earmri said reactiv lymph nodes. No cancer. Help! Docs don't know?

Two problems. Let another doctor look at your lip if the scaly bump is always there. It could be precancerous but probably not in a 35 year old female. I would guess that the facial pain and swelling is unrelated to the lip, and i would believe the doctor on that one.
Lip growth. See a dermatologist. The lip lesion can have a tiny biopsy for a definitive diagnosis.