Doctor, it has been 8 days after my ACL surgery, and I haven't pooped. I have tried everything. Prune juice, fiber pills, stool softner, miralex. Help!?

Big trouble! Advance to level 2 aggressive bowel management! drink 1 bottle of magnesium citrate now and insert 2 fleet's enemas rectally - hold the fluid in for as long as you can. Repeat in 6 hours. "cut" stool into pieces with your gloved finger so you can evacuate pieces. This may be an arduous process, but it beats another hospital visit for an embarassing treatment. Go to the er if you can't do it!
Down below. This is quite a common following surgery if narcotics are used to control postoperative pain. Continue taking pain medication if you need it, but if you are able to wean yourself to a lower dose or smaller amount, that would help. Stay hydrated. Milk of magnesia is safe and usually effective. Finally, consider Dulcolax suppositories or fleet enemas (sodium bisphosphate) when all else fails.