People talk to my grown children but not to me. Why is that? I want a voice in what happens to me.

I agree with you. If you are alert and mentally competent, you should be the first person a doctor should talk to; however, if you become mentally incompetent to make a decision and have signed document to designate some else to make decision for you when you are unable to do so, then the designated person should be the one to act on you behalf.