What are the symptoms of depression and what can be done to counteract them without medicine? Is there a main reason I feel so shut down and seek to keep people away so I don't hurt them with my words. They seem to hurt anyways. What can I do to know if m

Psychotherapy. Go see a reputable therapist for an evaluation and psychotherapy. Ask your primary care physician for a referral.
Gas Up, Take Action. Low motivation=hallmark of depression! it's like having very little gas in ur tank: so u might want 2 take long car trip 2 ocean, but only have gas 2make it out of driveway. And no gas means we get cranky. Consider how 2 refuel ur body, mind, soul. Take small steps 2doing things u've enjoyed/have found meaningful, even though u may not feel like it. "Action is the antidote 2 despair" - joan baez.
Symptoms . Symptoms of depression can include feeling angry, anxious, sad or scared. You may sleep too much or too little. Similarly you could gorge on food or eat too little. Feeling helpless, hopeless, inadequate and guilty is common. Problems with memory and concentration can occur. Feelings or thoughts that you want to hurt or kill yourself or others is a medical emergency and requires help asap. I suggest that whether you take medication or not, that you become involved in talking therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy can be very beneficial. Take care.