3 doctors weighed in:

Suffering from bouts of depression and ultra controlling issues - our niece was fatally killed in a drunk driving accident and then 1 month later our son was deployed to afgan for 10 months. Could the above symptoms be caused by these life changing and e

3 doctors weighed in
Dr. Heidi Fowler
Psychiatry
1 doctor agrees

In brief: Hello.

Hello. Dr. Kardener provided an excellent explanation.
An analogy. There is a juggler who does very well juggling five balls in the air. Someone throws in a sixth ball and now the task requires much more focus for the juggler to juggle successfully. As more balls are thrown in, it becomes beyond the jugglers capacity and the juggler begins dropping balls. How does the juggler, get back into juggling after the balls have all hit the ground? By adding in one ball at a time. Clearly you are both grieving and worried for your son's safety. Consider talking to a grief counselor. Take good care of yourself right now, you are going through a vulnerable period.

In brief: Hello.

Hello. Dr. Kardener provided an excellent explanation.
An analogy. There is a juggler who does very well juggling five balls in the air. Someone throws in a sixth ball and now the task requires much more focus for the juggler to juggle successfully. As more balls are thrown in, it becomes beyond the jugglers capacity and the juggler begins dropping balls. How does the juggler, get back into juggling after the balls have all hit the ground? By adding in one ball at a time. Clearly you are both grieving and worried for your son's safety. Consider talking to a grief counselor. Take good care of yourself right now, you are going through a vulnerable period.
Dr. Heidi Fowler
Dr. Heidi Fowler
Thank

In brief: There

There isn't anyway that anyone would find smiling coming easily with the circumstances you are describing.
I also assume by "ultra controlling issues" you are referring to trying to take excessive charge of things and maybe people around you. This would not be very surprising given how little control you felt with fate's dictates about your niece, and how much you would wish to be able to keep your son safe in the dangerous situation he will be facing. An ancient philosopher once said "i am upset not by events, but by my perception of events." in other words, we have control over how we respond to situations, if not the situations themselves. However, bouts of depression if fulfilling diagnostic criteria in a medical illness certainly precipitated in many people when they are immersed in intensely stressful circumstances. It should be evaluated professionally and treated accordingly. Try to keep in mind that there is a great deal of difference between helplessness, which always means no choices exist and is how we experience ourselves as children, and vulnerability which always mean there are choices available. You have been and are very vulnerable, but not without choice one of which was writing your question (no child could have done that!) and in seeking professional assistance.

In brief: There

There isn't anyway that anyone would find smiling coming easily with the circumstances you are describing.
I also assume by "ultra controlling issues" you are referring to trying to take excessive charge of things and maybe people around you. This would not be very surprising given how little control you felt with fate's dictates about your niece, and how much you would wish to be able to keep your son safe in the dangerous situation he will be facing. An ancient philosopher once said "i am upset not by events, but by my perception of events." in other words, we have control over how we respond to situations, if not the situations themselves. However, bouts of depression if fulfilling diagnostic criteria in a medical illness certainly precipitated in many people when they are immersed in intensely stressful circumstances. It should be evaluated professionally and treated accordingly. Try to keep in mind that there is a great deal of difference between helplessness, which always means no choices exist and is how we experience ourselves as children, and vulnerability which always mean there are choices available. You have been and are very vulnerable, but not without choice one of which was writing your question (no child could have done that!) and in seeking professional assistance.
Dr. Sheldon Kardener
Dr. Sheldon Kardener
Thank
Get help from a real doctor now
Dr. Bennett Machanic
Board Certified, Neurology
49 years in practice
56M people helped
Continue
108,000 doctors available
Read more answers from doctors