I know that can be easier said than done. First, you said you tried therapy; which implies that you are not in counseling
now. If the therapy did not seem helpful, perhaps you would respond better to a different form of therapy or to a different therapist
. I can tell you however, the patient needs to be the one doing the work. If the therapist is the one making most of the effort, it is not likely to be helpful. Second, you said you have been on a number of different psychiatric medications. Sometimes, it can take quite a while to find the right medication combination that is unique to you. You may need medications other than or in addition to antidepressants
. Your psychiatrist can always consider a consultation with a psychopharmacologist. Studies show that a mix of counseling and medication is more likely to be helpful than either modality alone. Another thing to remember is that alcohol
actually has a depressive effect if you drink it over a long period. Additionally, since you have attempted suicide
before; it you drink you may be negatively impacting your judgement and your impulsivity. One of the worst things you can do right now is to drink heavily. Drinking that much should scare you - it is dangerous.
I would talk to your psychiatrist frankly and seen what treatment plan the two of you can come up with working as a team. You deserve to be well. Keep the hope.