Olanzapine gave me epilepsy, is my doctor to blame? And what can I do about it? I'm so sad and it's so bad

Unlikely. Zyprexa (olanzapine) may reduce seizure threshold in some individuals but it is unlikely to cause epilepsy. It is sometimes associated with neuroleptic malignant syndrome, diabetes, hyperprolactinemia, and tardive dyskinesia.
Olanzapine? It is very good antipsychotic medication , but as all psych medication it can cause allergic reaction, increase weight, td, nms, metabolic encephalopathy , dm and ...!