How can I tell if my child is spoiled and how do I help if he is?

Help child learn. "spoiling" is a term understood but hard to quantify. I like to think of it as a child demanding attention/things/activities which only benefit the child and which are beyond the developmental norms for a particular age. As parents, we need to teach our children respect for others, their time and resources. Teaching new behaviors takes time but is worth it, your doctor can suggest techniques.
The term is relative. From a kids perspective, the first year we teach them we will respond to them when they cry and do what it takes to keep them happy. This creates their expectation that they deserve it always. Their speech and language skills progress rapidly as todlers, but unfortunately, they don't think like adults. Avoid applying adult intent to self indulgent behavior. Your pediatrician or behaviorist can help.
Neither over- indul- gence nor over-permissiveness helps a child prepare for adulthood. The ultimate goal of parenting is to rear a fully-functional adult. Using a token economy system in which a child's adaptive behaviors earn him tokens that add up to a reward is reasonable. Children need limits to feel secure. See http://www. Foundationscounselingllc. Com/authoritative-parenting. Php.