How can I defend myself against violence from my man?

Abuse. The only defense you have is to not tolerate this great disrpect of you as a human being. It is difficult to set limits with someone you love even when they are abusive, seek help immediately from a clinical psychologist who can help you develop the ability to seperate and not tolerate abuse. Obtain a restraining order and do not allow this abuse, it will never stop if you don't. Best.
Leave. Domestic violence recidivism rates are abysmal: most men who commit domestic violence will never stop--they are serial offenders. Most are sociopathic or near-sociopathic. The lack or absence of empathy can not be replaced by any treatment. Leaving is difficult. You need to muster all the support you can (family, friends) and leave him. Get a restraining order if necessary.