Gotta hand it to you
Most people who post on HealthTap looking for advice on how to beat a drug test don't come right out & say so.
They're less honest - or cynical - than you. The answer is the same, though: Getting such help here is unlikely verging on never gonna happen. It's unethical for a doctor to help someone break the law & you want him/her to do it publicly where millions of people could read it?!?