All the abilities and coping skills that didnt develop properly becouse of my substance abusing, will I get them if remaining sober for a looong time?

Yes, but not by UPS. Good for you! Yes, stay sober for a looong time (maybe a bit of healthy wine/beer will be ok). But those lost years and the abilities/skills won't just come in a delivery truck. You need to develop them and you can. Even if you were older - but you're not. It will be ok. Plants usually catch up if planted late in our garden. Stay on track. Good luck.